Men's Involvement in Keeping Women Safe

I read an article in this month's Ebony written by writer/activist Kevin Powell from The Real World entitled "Men Can Stop Domestic Violence". In the article, Powell references the Chris Brown situation and says that men keeping silent about violence against women is the same as an agreement and participation. What do you think? Do you think that men not talking about it means that they are pretending that the violence doesn't exist? Or that they are defending and condoning the men that hit their women? Powell says that it is up to other men to "make it end". Which is why he has become an activist and speaker for womens' rights. Kudos to this black man standing up for us! He says that we have to "address the ignorance, hatred and pain at the root of violence" to transform and educate people. He was abused as a child and has chosen to break the cycle. Very powerful.

Powell also urges young women whose men are "consistently angry, depressed, verbally abusive, has violent tendencies or has put his hands on you in some way to leave the relationship whether he gets help or not". What do you think about this? What is your man wants to go to counseling? Should you stick it out with him or just get out period?

Thoughts anyone?

Rihanna and Chris Brown Story Stirs Many Emotions

Let me start off by saying that I am starting this blog not as a means to exploit neither Chris Brown nor Rihanna. They are merely an example, a jumping off point if you will, to start a discussion on abuse and relationships...

That being said, I'm sure many of us were disturbed when we saw these pictures of Rihanna's battered and bruised face. I know I couldn't believe that cute little Chris Brown was the alleged attacker. They seemed so happy in the media - at awards shows and in magazines. It made me start to wonder how many other women out there were suffering at the hands of a boyfriend or husband and were keeping silent about it. After all, this was a beautiful, talented, poised and prosperous young woman allowing herself to be disrespected...and the reports say repeatedly. I was dumbfounded! It also conjured up memories of Halle Berry, one of the most recognizable and stunning women in the world, talking to the media about how she had been beaten by past boyfriends. She now supports a foundation to prevent abuse, by the way.

If women like these, who have several options layed out before them and the means to live independently, struggle with leaving their abusers - then how does the average woman who is being physically or mentally abused fare? Imagine being dependent on an abusive spouse or someone you are living with to pay your bills and help care for your children...could you walk away? It's easier said than done.

What was also disturbing to me was some of the comments coming from young women after the Rihanna case came out in the press. Young girls were actually calling in to the radio stations defending Chris Brown's alleged actions, saying things like "He's so fine, he could beat me anytime!" What is this world coming to when a woman thinks it's okay for a man to put his hands on a female?

It's flabbergasting! Are we devaluing ourselves so much now that we put up with anything as long as a man looks good, sleeps with us and provides financial assistance? This can't be! We have to teach our young women and instill in our grown women that we are worth much more.

Please chime in and tell me what you think about all this...

Thanks and look forward to chatting with you! :-)